Another night of self pity.
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I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
I am me.
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Saturday, April 21, 2007, 12:04 AM
Is not a sudden realisation that I am huge but a fact that haunt me like forever, since my brains can function well.Gluttony, greed and crave for happy food is the cause of the deed.
Sitting back and looking at pics of myself is like watching your own porn in utube in disgust. That flabby arms, oh that thunder thigh, fuck that neckless being....
The whole event is freaking gross. Nothing seems to feel comfortably, thighs rub against each other, sleeve tug at the arm area because you are too fat. Looking at the mirror, searching for the slimmest angle but you find none. Dressing up seems like a hassle, buying clothes makes you feel sad. Is always XL.
Is time to stop this, for good. At least I should try to make it happen.
No more eating alot at night.
No more coke.
No more feeling full.
No more coconut.
No more bubble tea.
No more food when you are not hungry.
NO MORE!!!
Christy went binging.... (daniel said it)
Christy pls stop... pls...